Hyrulian Beauty Pageant
by Elisafairy
Summary: When King Link declares that all girls in the Zelda universe must come together for a beauty pageant, this is sure to be one long day of drama, laughs, disturbing experiences, and most of all: friendship. Join Saria, Sheik, and more for one long day!
1. Chapter 1: Hyrulian Beauty Pageant

THE HYRULIAN BEAUTY PAGEANT

_When King Link declares that all girls in the Zelda universe must come together for a beauty pageant, this is sure to be one long day of drama, laughs, disturbing experiences, and most of all: friendship. Join Saria, Sheik, Agitha, Ashei, and the rest of the crew for one fast-paced (but very long) day!_

It was a beautiful day at the beach, the day of the Hyrulian Beauty Contest. Girls from every Legend of Zelda game gathered by the sea to see who would be picked by Link, the judge. Several versions of Princess Zelda arrived, her being in every Legend of Zelda game.

Relaxing in a shallow tide pool near the ocean were the younger girls: Agitha, Beth, Aryll, the Fairy Queen, and the like. Saria sat on a slick boulder nearby, twirling a bit of seaweed on her finger. She let out a long sigh and buried her head in her hands. She wished she hadn't come, but it was an order by King Link of the Twilight Princess chapter that all girls had to.

Her friends had tried to cheer her up, but so far it hadn't worked. Then, a strange figure came and sat down beside her. He was very tall, older than Saria, and wore a ninja-like suit. Half his face was covered with a cloth that had a symbol of an eye and a tear on it, and two blonde strands of hair escaped the small, turban-like hat on his head. He looked slightly familiar, and had beautiful blue eyes.

At first, Saria couldn't speak. She just sat there staring at him. The mysterious character paid no attention to her, just rested his elbows on his knees and stared out across the sea.

"Excuse me, sir," Saria finally said.

The stranger made no reply at first, then suddenly jumped with surprise. He then relaxed, his eyes full of humor and maybe a bit of sadness as Saria thought. He his head in close to hers and pulled down the cloth that covered his nose and mouth, whispering, "Just between you and me, I'm not a sir."

Saria's hair stuck out in all angles and her eyes were as big as twin Lake Hylias. The stranger just smiled and went back to staring out towards the ocean, his – no, her – hair blowing in the wind.

"Sorry," Saria said, looking down at her fidgeting hands, "What's your name? I'm fairly sure I've seen you around before."

The strange girl hesitated, then said, "You may call me Sheik."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Saria. Why are you dressed like that?"

"I came for the Beauty Pageant – it's a law you know – but I didn't really want to come. Maybe I won't actually have to participate if everyone thinks I'm a dude like you did."

"Sorry," Saria said again. They were both silent for a moment. Then Saria said, "You know, I didn't really want to come either."

"Awww…" Sheik said, concerned, "Why not? What's wrong?" She touched Saria on the shoulder and Saria knew at once that as tough (and guy-like) this mysterious 'Sheik' appeared, she definitely had the caring, motherly touch of a woman.

She decided to tell her. She felt like she could trust this motherly figure. "Link and I were so close," she sobbed, tears rolling down her cheeks. Sheik pulled her onto her lap and hugged her tight. "But then, everything changed," Saria continued. "He grew up, and I stayed the same." She indicated her shortness and childlikeness with a gesture of her hands. "Then he met _Zelda_ and I knew I would never have a chance with him." The word 'Zelda' was spat, and her fists clenched with rage as she spoke this last sentence.

Sheik's eyes clouded over. "Zelda…" she whispered, so inaudibly that Saria wasn't even sure she had said it at all. "I best be going," Sheik said, standing up and stretching. "See ya, Saria! Maybe we'll meet again someday."

Sheik walked away, and Saria slumped over again. She was glad for the new friend she had made, but it hadn't really made her feel any better about the pageant.

"Gather around, girls," a voice called over a speaker just then, "It's time for the first of three parts of the Hyrulian Beauty Contest."

All the girls squealed and ran over to a platform that had been built on the beach, crowding around it and pushing eachother out of the way. Aryll came over to Saria and held her hand. "Come on," she said gently, "It'll be okay."

Saria smiled weakly and got up, walking slowly with Aryll towards the stage. There, at the very back of the stage, King Link of the Twilight Princess chapter was sitting on his throne. At the front of the stage stood a tall, thin young man with gaudy clothes, a microphone, and a sly look on his face.

"That's the owner of the S.T.A.R. game in Twilight Princess' Castle Town," Agitha whispered to the other young girls. Banners advertising the attraction flapped in the breeze.

"Welcome! Welcome!" he called. "Thank you for coming! Not that you had much choice… but, anyway! As you all know, this Beauty Pageant has been ordered by his majesty, King Link of Twilight Princess!"

A few girls clapped and squealed, mostly different versions of Zelda, but Saria thought it sounded pathetic. She also thought Zelda was a suck-up. Link could be seen on his throne, sighing and resting his head on one hand, no doubt thinking: _What?! I thought I had more fangirls than that! This is pathetic…_

The owner of the S.T.A.R. minigame turned to look at Link. "Looks like you have quite a following there, Mr. Link!" Link glowered, but the Hyrulian girls laughed at this sarcasm.

"Settle down girls," said the announcer, holding up his hand for silence. "I know I'm quite the comedian, but it's nearly time for the show to begin!" He shot one arm up in the air and the crowd cheered. "First off is the swimsuit competition!" Again, the crowd cheered, this time mostly the guys on the beach. "After that will be the talent section of the contest, and as soon as the sun goes down, we'll hold the third and final event, where the girls will show off their evening gowns! Will the lovely ladies please walk across the stage?"

All the girls lined up, went up the steps, walked across the stage before the king, then went down the steps on the other side, all wearing their swimsuits. Ashei wore a metal and chain bikini with a long, flowing white fur cape, Hena wore a green and white gingham and rope bikini with fishing lure earrings, and Twilight Princess Zelda's bikini was pink, with a bejewled top and the triforce symbol on the bottom half.

Others came, too, from all different Legend of Zelda games. The suit that Midna (in true form) wore looked hardly any different from the one she usually wore, except that she left the cloak behind.

After a few others, including Link's old girlfriend Ilia, came the younger girls. Aryll, Agitha, Saria, Beth, the Fairy Queen from Windwaker, and several others marched up the stage and each struck a pose. Saria felt as if she would faint in front of all those people. What if Link – her Link, mind you – was out there in the crowd?

(Her suit was green by the way, a one piece with long sleeves, a turtleneck, and a hole where her stomach was. She felt a little self-conscious in it.)

She froze up on the stage, her ears ringing. She didn't hear when the announcer said "next" for the hundreth time, loudly and very impatiently at her. Finally Beth, who was right behind her, had to nudge her along. She was glad when it was over, but terribly embarassed. She wasn't a thing like brave Beth or popular young Zelda.

Next came the older women of Hyrule. All the guys moaned, including King Link. Telma, the bar keeper, was a sight to see (a disturbing sight, that is) in a swimsuit. Others were just as bad, with exception of one or two.

When it was all over, they had a little bit of time to relax and (as the announcer said) rest their eyes from the harrowing experience of that last part of the swimsuit competition.

Saria was about to go sit on the rock again, but her friends convinced her to come join them in playing a game of volleyball. It was Saria's favorite sport, and she was very good at it. Her team beasted the other team 500 to nothing, if that's possible. Let me tell you: that cheered her up quite a bit.

"And just think, it's the talent competition that's up next!" said Agitha with a giggle. "You'll trounce everyone with your ocarina-playing skills!"

"You think?" Saria was trying not to get her hopes up, but it wasn't working so far. Her eyes gleamed with anticipation. Her musical ability _was_ pretty sharp.

"Yeah!" said Aryll, "I know it!"

"Hey, how come they didn't tell us who won the last competition?" Beth asked, hands on hips.

"I think they don't announce the results until tonight," Agitha said, "though I'm not really sure. I heard it was going to be really fun, with a banquet and everything, in Hyrule Castle!"

This beauty pageant was, in fact, not being held in any known Zelda world, but in one where they could all meet together in the middle. The Hyrule Castle here was built just for this occasion, and the banquet hall was really the only finished part of it.

"Gather 'round, ladies and gentlemen, Gorons and Zoras, man and beast… it's tiiiiiime for the talent division of the Hyrulian Beauty Pageant!" The announcer from S.T.A.R. was at the microphone again, and everyone was crowding around the platform again.

"Come on," Aryll said. "Let's hurry. I don't want to be late!"


	2. Chapter 2: Hyrule's Got Talent!

It was time for the talent division of the beauty contest, and Saria was feeling a little more confident. She played a few notes on her ocarina for practice, then took a deep breath. _I don't care about impressing Twilight Princess Link and winning the contest. The only Link I'm interested in is mine, and this song should catch his attention. I used to play it for him all the time when… when he was young._ She gulped and tried to ignore how nervous she was.

The talent show began with Navi. She had skipped the swimsuit competition due to her body being a floating round orb. Apparently, Navi's idea of "talent" was flying around Judge Link and being a pest. "Listen! Listen! Link, listen!" No one stopped her, believing her to be trying to break the Hyrulian World Record for saying "listen" the most times in a row. Link swatted at the fairy. "I'm not even _your_ Link!" he growled. The S.T.A.R. announcer flipped through a Hyrulian Record book and after a few more "listen!"s he held up his hand for silence. "Navi has just broken the record for saying the word "listen" (or any word, for that matter) the most times in a row." No one applauded, and Navi left the stage grumbling.

Impa was just about to come onto the stage and show off some sword-fighting moves, when Tingle leaped onto the platform instead, wearing a green swimsuit and swimcap. "Koo-loo-limpah!" he shouted. Most The entire audience began to shout or grumble. Windwaker Link buried his head in his hands and tried to get away without Tingle seeing him. The S.T.A.R. announcer tried to quiet the commotion, but couldn't. "Errr… I'm afraid you're late for the swimsuit competition… sir? Also, um… it's only for, um, women…" Tingle simply ignored him and continued to pose in various ways, showing off his swimsuit to the horror of the onlookers. Eventually, two Goron security guards were called on to take him away.

"Now that that's over," the announcer said, "we will continue the competition." Impa did her sword display, though she seemed a little shaken by the Tingle incident, and didn't do as well as she normally would have. Then others came, such as the Fairy Queen Child showing off her puppetry skills… using the Great Fairy as a puppet. Ilia began to show her carving skills by making a horseshoe-shaped flute, but as it was taking too long, she was eventually dragged off the stage. Sue-Belle balanced several pots stacked up on her head… impressive, but boring.

The sun was setting and the Talent Division was coming to a close after all the others had shown their talent… or lack thereof. Saria was just beginning to think no one would be able to compete with her act, when a certain young woman named Malon got up to sing. Her voice was amazing, and it brought tears to everyone's eyes with its magnificent beauty. Saria could see Link, _her_ Link, staring up at Malon. His eyes might as well have been two giant pink hearts, there was so much love shown there. But was it true love? Saria and Link had shared so much together. But then again, Link would probably want someone who could age alongside him. _It would be a bit awkward for us to be together... People would mistake me for his little sister._

Malon's act finished and the crowd roared with cheers and applause. "Next up is Saria playing the ocarina!" Saria jumped when she heard the announcer call her name. _I'm not ready! How can I stand out after such a crowd-pleasing act? Even Judge Link of Twilight Princess seemed astounded, and he's done nothing but sigh and yawn this whole time._

A girl named Mila pushed her forward rather rudely, and Saria stumbled out onto the stage. She was silent at first, but then she found Ocarina of Time Link in the audience. Their eyes met, and Link had a gentle look on his face that encouraged her. _He looks like he's remembering all the moments we've shared. I know I am. This is for you, Link!_ She then noticed Sheik leaning against a palm tree in the distance, far from the crowd. Sheik winked, and Saria smiled back. _This is for you too, Sheik!_ She stepped forward and began to play a song, her song. The melody filled the air, and seemed to last forever and at the same time, only a short few seconds. When it was over, the crowd didn't cheer as loudly as they had for Malon, but Saria could tell they had liked it all the same. There seemed to be happiness and a quiet peace, as well as a little sadness. Saria glanced at Link and smiled softly at him once more, then left the stage. A few seconds passed, and the crowd burst out into clapping and cheering. Saria grinned and put the ocarina in her pocket. _I did it. I really did it._

A few others performed their acts, but the crowd seemed not to notice. Everyone was talking about Malon and Saria's acts. It was definitely between these two who would win. But the results would not be revealed until after the third and final division of the competition, the evening dress show!


	3. Chapter 3: Saria and Link

It would be a while until the third and final part of the competition, so Saria decided to work up enough courage and see Link, her Link. The crowd had dispersed again, and Link was now sitting on a rock and talking to a couple of friends.

Saria blushed and forced herself to step forward. "H- hi…" she said shyly.

"Hey, Saria." He stood up and told his friends he'd see them later. When he stood, Saria gulped. He was so much taller than her now that he was an adult. She remembered when they were about the same height.

"I- I haven't spoken to you in a long time," she said. _Talking to him used to be so easy, before he left the forest and grew up…_

"Yeah, it's been a while," he agreed. Link seemed to feel a little awkward too, but a little cooler than Saria.

The two stood there, avoiding eye contact for what seemed to be a long time. Saria was just about to say goodbye and leave when she suddenly found herself flinging her arms around Link. "I miss you so much! Why did you have to leave and grow up and become a hero and fall in love with Zelda like every other stinking Link does?!"

Link was shocked at first, but then he hugged her back, leaning down to do so. "I didn't want to, believe me. I had to grow up and be the hero. Hyrule depended on me."

"So you just forgot about me?" Saria sobbed quietly.

"No," Link whispered. "Of course not. Never. You're forgetting there are two time lines."

Saria looked up at him and blinked away the tears that were forming in her eyes. "What?"

"Yeah, two time lines. In one, I grow up and become the hero, and you become a sage. In the other, I live out my childhood and stay with you."

"Why didn't anyone tell me about this?"

Link shrugged and laughed. "I thought you knew."

"So where's…"

"…the child me?" Link finished. He pointed over at another Link, much like himself, but younger, and much shorter. "It's really weird seeing myself as a child, you know?"

Saria smiled and hugged adult Link again, then ran over to see child Link. "Hey," she said.

"Hey, Saria! Great job with the talent division!"

"Thanks."

They began to talk and it was like they had never been apart.

"It's tiiiiime for the third and final part of the beauty pageant… the evening dress division!" The S.T.A.R. minigame announcer called from the stage. "For this division, we will be moving to Hyrule Castle! That is all! Thank you!"

The crowd began to leave the beach by walking, flying, riding various versions of Epona the horse, and numerous other means of transportation. As Hyrule Castle came into view, Saria gasped in awe. It was huge, and so beautiful. She had never seen a castle before. She didn't realize that only a few rooms had been finished and the rest was just an elaborately painted cardboard backdrop.

She and her friends entered the first of the finished rooms, following the S.T.A.R. announcer. There was a stage set up in this room, along with chairs for the audience and a throne for the judge, Twilight Princess Link. The announcer led them to a door on the right of the room. "In here is the changing room where you will find your dresses. Hurry, the contest is starting soon!"

The competitors quickly changed into their dresses and Saria stepped out proudly in her shimmering, silky, emerald-green dress. She was feeling more confident now than she had earlier. Sheik and her friends had cheered her up and encouraged her, the talent division had gone well, and she'd even worked up enough courage to talk to Link… both the adult version and the child version.

It didn't matter if she won or not. She wasn't expecting to and she didn't really care either way. It'd been a good day and totally worth it to find child Link again.

Saria could hear the announcer in the main room. "Ladies and gentlemen, Zoras and Gorons, please put your hands, fins, wings or whatever else you may have together for… the Evening Dress Division."

The cheers and clapping roared as Saria and the others left the dressing room in their dresses. One by one, they walked across the stage. Among the more interesting was Navi, who was basically a floating orb of blue light with wings and had decided not to wear a dress. There was also Mila, who had lost her fortune sometime during the events of 'Windwaker' and ended up wearing a burlap sack. Ashei's was made of what looked like yeti fur. The yeti couple, who was sitting in the audience, gasped and Mr. Yeti fainted.

After a few other competitors, it was the Zeldas' turn. There was one for each game, they each wore almost the same exact dress, and they took way too long to cross the stage because they enjoyed showing off. At first all the Links were excited, but after the first few it was rather boring. Judge Link went to sleep… until Twilight Princess Zelda was up, of course.

Saria marched across the stage with her friends and looked out into the audience, trying to find Link, the child Link that she knew. They smiled at each other, and she left the stage with the others.

"And that's it for the Evening Dress Division!" the star announcer called. As soon as he got the words out of his mouth, a skinny, bizarre-looking guy wearing shorts ran onto the stage and pulled a piece of paper out of his bag, handed it to the announcer, and left. The announcer read it and told the crowd, "I have just received information that a young lady from Ocarina of Time has not participated in the competition thus far. She will now participate in the evening dress contest!"

Saria could see that offstage a couple of guys were trying to get another Zelda to come onto the stage. The Zelda swiftly punched both and sent them flying. Saria was shocked. Zelda was usually the helpless princess in need of rescue. This one refused to come onstage until a Goron guard dragged her to the center of the stage. There she stood, looking embarrassed and afraid.

Then Saria realized who this Zelda was. It was Sheik! Suddenly she felt very angry about the whole competition. _They forced her to participate even though she didn't want to!_ Saria gathered up her courage, as she had when she went to talk to Link. She marched onto the stage and stood beside Zelda, beside her friend Sheik, and held her hand.

"I am afraid you have just been disqualified," the announcer said to Saria. "Once you have left the stage, you may not return."

Saria knew that. She'd read the rules, and she didn't care. She wasn't going to let Sheik stand there and be embarrassed, all by herself. "I know," she said. She looked up at Sheik and smiled.

Sheik smiled back. "Thank you. You're a great friend."

"Okay," the announcer said. "Now we will have a short intermission, and when we come back… the results!!!!"

_To be continued…_


	4. Chapter 4: Wrapping Things Up

There was a short intermission, and then the S.T.A.R. announcer was back on stage. "Judge Link has decided!" he said. "And now, the winners of the Hyrulian Beauty Pageant! First up is the swimsuit competition winner… Princess Zelda of Twilight Princess!"

The crowd groaned. "What a surprise!" a few people said sarcastically.

"And the talent show winner… Malon!"

The crowd cheered for the beautiful young singer. _I could have won that,_ Saria thought, _or at least got second place._ She slightly regretted jumping onto the stage and being disqualified. Then she looked at Sheik and smiled. _No, I don't regret it. It was worth standing up for a friend._

"And the winner of the evening dress contest… Princess Zelda of Twilight Princess!"

The crowd groaned again.

"Now… the moment you've all been waiting for… the overall winner of the Hyrulian Beauty Pageant is…"

A few people in the crowd sat there in suspense. "Who could it be?" a few wondered. Most of the crowd was falling asleep, though. It was obvious who the winner would be.

"Princess Zelda of Twilight Princess!"

A few in the crowd clapped. A few booed. "Judge Link is biased because he comes from the same game as Twilight Princess Zelda!" someone yelled. He was quickly removed from the building by Goron guards.

"That's it for the pageant, folks!" the announcer said. "Audience members may exit through the door behind them. If competitors would go through the door to the left, there is a banquet waiting for them. Thank you, and goodnight!"

Most people were ready to go home by now, so the crowd disappeared quickly. Saria and the other competitors went to the banquet room to the left, where several long tables were set up with all kinds of food from every Zelda world. There were fish, Lon-Lon milk, Chateau Romani, Ordon goat cheese, soup, Ordon pumpkins, Hyoi pears, and even all-purpose bait, although Saria wasn't sure who would eat the bait.

"Hey Saria!" Aryll called. "Come sit over here! I'm really proud of what you did for Sheik earlier."

"Thanks," Saria said. "I'll come sit down in a minute, but I have a few things to take care of first." She scanned all of the banquet tables with her eyes until she saw a red haired girl, surrounded by others who were congratulating her on her talent show win. A young woman with red hair sat near her. _That looks just like her. Who could that be?_ Saria wondered.

She walked over to where Malon was. "I- I wanted to congratulate you. You did really well. You have a beautiful voice." _Try not to let your jealousy show,_ she told herself. _Just be happy for her._

"Thank you," Malon said. "That means a lot, coming from you. I was afraid you would be mad at me."

"No, I'm not mad." She laughed. "You can't help it your voice is so amazing."

"Thank you again. I really think we would have tied if you hadn't jumped up on the stage to defend your friend. That was really brave of you." She was quiet for a moment. "I've talked to Link, and…"

"Which one?"

"Ocarina of Time, both adult and child. We're all a little confused now that the time line's been split, and we're trying to get everything settled. You're a part of this too. I'd like you to meet my adult self."

The young woman with the red hair turned to Saria. "Nice to meet you, Saria," she said.

"Nice to meet you, too," Saria said. "This is really weird."

"You're telling me!" child Malon laughed.

"Why didn't I see you in the pageant?" Saria asked adult Malon.

"When a time line is split, only one version of a character must participate in the show," she answered. "But we still get to come to the banquet afterwards."

"Oh…" _Is the other version of me here, too?_

Just then, child Malon asked, "How would you like to meet your… self from the other time line?" She was about to say adult self when she stopped herself, remembering that Kokiri never grow up.

"I- I don't know." _Is this a good idea?_ She thought about it for a moment, then nodded. "Okay."

"I'll go find her." Child Malon went to another banquet table and returned a few seconds later, with a green-haired girl.

It was like looking into a mirror for Saria. _This… this is me?_ She almost reached out to touch the girl who looked exactly like her, just to see if this was real. She stopped and pulled her hand back.

The green-haired girl laughed. "I'm you… in the future. And yes, I'm real."

_I look exactly the same… but, of course I do. Kokiri don't grow up._ "Didn't Link say I become a sage in the other time line?"

The other Saria nodded. "I am Sage Saria."

"Then… you don't end up with Link?"

The Sage shook her head. "No… I'm afraid not. But you can. You have your own timeline to live out." She smiled sadly at her past self.

Suddenly, Saria realized something. _Child Link may be a child now, but eventually he'll grow up like adult Link and leave me all over again!_ "I- I've got to find someone," she said. "I'll see you later."

Saria left her future self and ran from Hyrule Castle. Outside, a group of guys were standing around and talking. _There he is! I'm lucky he hasn't left yet._ She ran over to child Link and pulled him away from the group, tears in her eyes.

"Hey! What are you doing?" Link asked, trying to pull away from her.

"We have to talk," Saria said. "You know that the time line got split, right?"

"Right."

"In one, you grow up and fall in love with Zelda or Malon or somebody, and I become a sage. In the other, you're a child and I'm still just an ordinary Kokiri. You know that, right?"

"Right…. So what's the point here?"

"You'll eventually grow up in _our _timeline, too. I want you to promise that you'll stay with me, no matter what, since we can't be together in the other timeline."

Link froze. Promising to be with a girl for the rest of your life is a big deal. Then, he remembered the other timeline, where he couldn't be with Saria. He looked at Saria and realized that he never wanted to be apart from her if he could help it. He hesitated, then said, "Okay." He hugged her. "I promise. I'll always come back to you. Even when I grow up, I won't leave you behind."

Relief flooded Saria's heart. "We'll make a strange couple when you're older," she laughed, her eyes brimming with tears of joy. _But that doesn't matter, because we'll always be together!_

Together, adult Link, adult Malon and adult Zelda came out of the castle. "Awww!" Zelda and Malon said, looking at Saria and child Link. Adult Link just smiled, then looked at Malon, and then Zelda. He didn't know who he would end up with. He didn't know who child Zelda and child Malon would end up with. But he knew his child self would be with Saria, forever.

_The End._


End file.
